After years of scientific study I can now reveal that there are three standard reactions displayed by rival fans when I tell them that I’m a Fulham supporter. These experiments were carried out under strict laboratory conditions and no animals were harmed, not even the Chelsea fan who participated.
I take pleasure in reporting my findings to the Council.
1. THE BLANK LOOK
One of the more common reactions. This is usually displayed by someone who is totally unaware of Fulham and entirely unaware that it is a premiership club. These people are also often unaware that the Second World War has ended and that women have the vote.
Common symptoms include: knitted brow, swift change of subject
Most often displayed by: My mother. Man Utd supporters. Sky Sports presenters. Mark Lawrenson.
2. THE PLUCKY UNDERDOG
This is another common one. The subject will often say something along the lines of “Fulham? Great little club. Nice stadium. It must be nice by the river. Chris Coleman was a great manager, you should never have sacked him. Brian McBride- real spirit.” These phrases will often be accompanied by a hand on your shoulder and a piteous look that says, “I’m so sorry that your cat died.”
Common symptoms include: buying you a drink or offering you a chair after you’ve told them.
Most often displayed by: fans whose clubs have won silverware. Chris Kamara. Charity workers. RSPCA officers.
3. THE MAD DOG
Not so common. This is usually only displayed by fans who support clubs in lower divisions. To them, we represent a bargain-bucket Chelsea who have only thrived because of the Mo’s ‘deep pockets’. We are chancers who should immediately return to wherever we belong. We are treated like the ugly bloke at a rather attractive party.
Common symptoms include: Foaming at the mouth. Hard stares.
Most often displayed by: Leeds fans. Alan Hansen. Lawrie Sanchez.
It is possible that I have missed some common types during my investigation. You may have something to say about that.
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4 comments:
As a new Fulham follower (yes, I am an American), the battle to stave off relegation is a new and terrifying experience. That said, I can easily relate to your experience with people's responses, particularly groups one and two. You see, as a basketball fan in the US, I am a longtime supporter of the Los Angeles Clippers (Los Angeles who?). As such, I am well acquainted with the blank stares, looks of pity, and condescending pats on the head: "nice young team, too bad about the injuries." (read: "mostly harmless"). I've also met some who simply wonder if I am stupid, or masochistic, or both (charges which I cannot necessarily deny!). In any case, I feel a bond with Fulham supporters (and I am in no way insinuating you are stupid or masochistic), and this bond has cemented my resolve to support Fulham, wins or no, premiership or no, Americans or no. The passion of its supporters in such dire circumstances compels me so.
Great blog--keep up the good work.
I'm enjoying your blog from my very distant vantage point in Hawaii (yes, there are Fulham fans in paradise, thanks to Dempsey, McBride, et. al.) Nice to read your tongue-in-cheek observations about the club -- makes me remember that sports is, after all is said and done, entertainment.
keep up the good work,
Keiht
Thanks to both of you. Really appreciate the feedback
hello there...really enjoying your blog and your observations on the reactions to being a Fulham fan are bang on the money! Keep up the great work.
Rob (followingthefulham)
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